Unfortunately Mike Leach has been reported in critical condition following a stroke, per Mississippi State University. We’d like to take some time today to remember some of the pirate Coach’s most unforgettable moments.

“I mean, I completely hate Candy Corn.”

This was after beating Vanderbilt in October 2021. While a controversial statement to some, we find ourselves in agreement with the Pirate here.

“In the interest of time, don’t get into any more fights today.”

This Leach-ism was dropped after some players were fighting in practice. Leach also said “If you get into a fight, don’t take your helmet off. We’re looking for smart players, not dumb ones”. Good advice for anyone in a fight on the football field.

[On referees, Comparing to Ham and Eggs] “As coaches and players, we’re like the ham. You see, the chickens involved but the pigs committed. We’re like the pig, they’re like the chicken. They’re involved, but everything we have rides on this.”

Nothing like a long winded, not quite relevant metaphor from Coach Leach – that’s half the reason we love him. An important difference to note is players and coaches aren’t slaughtered after the game – but sometimes it does feel close.

“It’s kind of like doing surgery with a chainsaw instead of a scalpel. We had pieces and parts flying everywhere.”

This quote was following an ugly first win with Texas Tech, against the University of New Mexico. Not a surgery I’d want.

“Well, we’re aiming for [the defense to allow] zero, but I imagine we’ll end up somewhere north of that.”

This one’s pretty self explanatory. They did, in fact, end up somewhere north of that.

“I ought to have Mikes Pirate School. The freshmen, all they get is the bandana. When you’re a senior, you get the sword and skull and crossbones. For homework, we’ll work pirate maneuvers and stuff like that”.

This was said in regards to A&M’s corps of cadets and how they “aren’t actually in the military”. Admittedly, Mike’s Pirate school seems much more enjoyable than being in the Aggie corps of cadets.

While these quotes are all in fun, we sincerely wish Coach the best recovery. He is an iconic figure in college football and we would all be much worse off without him.